Monday, January 26, 2009

My Grandparents-Almost non astranged?

I had a pretty interesting weekend. From my previous blogs, I have written about my "Family".

If I wrote out my whole life, the twists and turns, the NOVELA it truely is.. I would suspect it would be not only a Best Seller (Take my ass to New York! lol) but would also have a place in movie theaters, I can see people buying tickets now. lol. and I'm only 26

no dramatics here.. no "whoa" is me victim shit.

So my long battles with my "family" almost every member and there is an extensive. since birth.

This weekend was the "Grandparents Chapter"

My mothers parents Divorced in the 70's each re-married and are still married to their partners.

My mothers mother married a great man .. My mothers Father.. married the Devil.

I don't really wanna scrounge up the energy to elaborate on the dynamics of these people, as interesting and indulging as the drama is... This experience this weekend was positive, and I will glorify that for literal peace sake.

The relationship with my mothers mother who we will call Z.. frankly there is none, maybe now there could be but 26 years of really hostile and for me personally some of my issues and complex's do stem from her, But I have realized that alot of the shit I went through by her and other people didn't have to do with me personally but the shit she was going through.. kinda like people take things out on you, or lash out on you for their own drama or insecurities.

Z is NOT an easy person to get along with, She is Bi-Polar, didn't have the best life her damn self, so I get alot of shit now.
blah blah blah .. basically we really can not converse longer then maybe 5 minutes without me walking out and or all hell breaking loose, she has tried over the years but like I sayed.. I'm 26.. and she's her age.. we are both set in our ways..

So I have visited her and her husband a couple times here and there I actually wrote a blog on how I prayed to God, The Universe and Angels on a recent visit and how my visit with her was totally surreal of how good it went, me and her Husband get along very well. If anything, he is probably the only male ever in my life including DNA related or Married in.. who has ever been, Human with me.. for lack of better term (and no .. that is not why I'm gay lol)

So he asked me to help him move this weekend I sayed of course! He is a very well known Accountant, extremely wealthy, excellent people skills, the whole 9 years, gorgeous Office, etc.. He is just someone I want to learn from, and I have always found his company to be very enjoyable.

So Saturday morning I get there early, we all go to breakfast (I am bypassing alot)
blah blah blah, it was a good day, no arguements, no snide remarks, no criticism, no NOTHING.

Sunday, the same.. another day of packing and moving.. everything was cool. I don't mind cleaning Z's already immaculate house but shit I'm not her maid.

Now My mothers Father I have not seen since Thanksgiving of 06. That is the day I told his wife exactly what I wish would happen to her. Now this is a whole other drama.. lawdy! Basically I was no longer welcome at restaurant which she now runs, into the ground by the way.. when customers are spitting and threatening her.. GEE I wonder if thats a clue why her 1st husband tried to have a hit on her.. I'm just sayen...
This restaurant he has owned for over 50 years, it's very famous and I literally grew up there so yea... the bitch won that battle but then again I DON'T EAT PASTRAMI.. so if anything.. that saved me some calories..

ANYWHOOOOOOOO.. He sent me a bday card in 07, I sent him a thank you card, and so forth. His health is very Ill, legs have been amputated due to Diabetes.. he has literally the best meds and doctors money can ever buy but .. like they say.. "You can't buy your health".. he is around 80? loosing his eye sight, he's a noted photographer, so I know it;s hard. My mom is Daddy's little girl and she sees him every week, every Sunday, even though his devil'esque wife tried with all her being to separate that bond..

So.. His bday was in December and I sent him a B-Day card. A very sweet B-Day card. Me and him never really conversed, just like with my mothers mother.. I am visible when I am at a certain weight.. that is when I am "worthy" of his words. He often calls me the name of his wife's granddaughter.. so yea.. He's never been mean.. that would require a feeling or effort of some action on his part.. He's just not a kid person I guess.. or I dunno.. anyway.. He told my mom that he would really like to see me, my mom was kinda iffy but I guess he has been persistent.. so I sayed of course I would like to have Dinner with him .. after all except for the past 2 years I spend alot of time with him.. at least in the same room.

So as I was tryen to relax at Z's pad till my mom came over to get me to meet up with her dad.. me and Z went to donate some stuff.. one thing Z is .. is not selfish, I think thats where my mom gets her compassion and willingness to help anyone, think of others, etc.. so we had a good time Donating..and checken out the stuff.. anyway she still can drive me FUCKEN NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she is not always a WELL woman and I learned how to chew people up and spit them out with my words.. sure enough comes from the both of us at it.. oh no lol.

She kept fucken asken me to clean this, clean that.. vacuum this.. Now I don't mind here and there but when I get up at 6am.. helped move some heavy shit for a couple hours.. I'm tired.. I ain't tryen to keep her pad which already is immaculate .. clean.. she expects me to know what she is thinking.. so the problem we have is the tone she interacts with me .. which starts the whole fight process... I'm counting the hours till my mom picks me up!

kinda surreal.. to actually spend that much time with her and her husband.. then to visit my moms dad.. these are my "Grandparents" which I have actually only been referring to them as such for the last 3 weeks? I can't give titles to people who I can't associate the actually definition of the title such as "Grand" mother/father.

So my mom gets there and were off to visit her Dad. I wasn't nervous.

He sees me and I give him a huge and he actually doesn't let go. He says that he has missed me, and I forgot what else I kinda just tuned it out.. not to be a bitch but it was weird for me I don't think I knew how to process that.

Dinner was good...He has a pretty smart ass personality, funny.. the dinner went really well, complimented me which I even know I wasn't looking my best, He didn't ask me anything about what I have been up to or doing, he didn't ask me anything about myself.. like usual and I was glad. It's usually all about him and thats fine with me.

He is in failing health and I know this has been really hard on my mom bad enough she has to deal with 2 -only science- could explain Women in her life.. Mother and Step-Monster from hell (I am SO NOT BEING DRAMATIC, I'M SO SERIOUS) , but he's still alive and kicken. It was very nice Dinner and I look forward to the next time. I don't know what the entity he's married to will say.. maybe he will re grow some balls and not give a fuck.....

I know it made my mom tear up to see her dad welcome me like that, besides myself her father is the only other important human on this earth to her.

So yea.. thats my story with my "grandparents"

It's just weird to like have that family or kind of family experience or whatever .. for lack of better description.. I'm just not used to it.. I was surrounded growing up by tones of DNA considered "family" but far from what I would think, and what I see from my friends family who treat me like family.. the way it's supposed to be..

as far as Z it's good to take baby steps with her.. to be honest my mom has been everything to me and has given me so much love that I never seek it from anyone or anything. I know we can't change our "Family" I actually see it as a blessing because as fucked up as each side is... I learned from their behaviors and from their mistakes, I will NEVER be as harsh, cruel, mean, hurtful and abuseful as them. My "Fathers" side as prime example.

I do respect Z, her husband and my moms dad however, for at least trying to be apart of my life, and I need to allow them, and if it doesn't change, well at least we all know we really tried. Either way there's a reason and lesson for everything and anything.

OH! so there was a couple things I got when we went to donate some stuff.. we hit the thrift store where stuff is being sold..

I got the cutest watch! gorgeous!

I'm not really into oriental pieces, and small bags for that matter.. but I saw this bag I fell in love with!

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