Friday, March 27, 2009

My Friday -I'm Pooped!

I don't know why but to me personally feels like my blogs haven't been that interesting to some? or maybe just not that interesting to me?

I did not want to take up this morning but I am a punctual person and if I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I am there on the dot. I was soooooo tired! took me forever to go to sleep last night. I got up mad early.

I had a meeting with Tone & Jack (Psycho Realm) regarding Jack's new project "Stray Bullets". The meeting started late, I was STARVING then I remembered I had some protein bars I got in my trunk.. I swore I thought one was "Caramel Nut Bust" LMAO it was Nut Blast. My peeps on Twitter got a kick out of that, as I pointed out to one.. I don't allow any nuts busting or blasting in my mouth.. LMAO!

So The meeting started, Basically I got a shit load of Hip Hop/Radio Sites, etc from all over the world, literally, for Jack to do Interviews, etc.. Jack played some dope tracks from the new project..I went over the sites, and we strategist which was going to be done in person, phone, email, etc. Plus for the Release Party, In stores, Upcoming appearances, etc.


I also had to meet up with 1 of their dudes who wanted to meet with me to promo/market his 2 stores and other business, that went well also.

I love networking, and I love what I do.

I got some stuff lined up for Immortal Technique, Interview wise, which is dope, His music is the shit!

The plan was to leave the studio around 3 so I can make it home by 4:30. I was going to have dinner with 1 of my oldest friends, who I call Christanka, only other person besides my mom and maybe 1 other person that knows everything about me. I had her hold some money from me which I thought she was going to give me but it didn't come through in time.. so I was like dang! She doesn't live close but Soup Plantation is our spot so either way I was happy plus I got a coupon! lol trust me made a big difference..

Ok so I got home in time.. Got a check in the mail, I really don't like dealing with a certain bank, but I've had luck cashing it there so I go in and the girl tries to tell me some bullshit, fuck them tryen to play me.

My phone was going dead!!!!! I didn't have my car charger, and I don't like to be without my phone, I figured I had enough time to cash the check a little farther and pay my cell phone since it was due today...

So I cash it, then head back, and proceed to T-Mobile.. Now the story with them starts earlier this month. I have Flex Pay which is the SHIT, I used my moms credit card earlier this month, since it's pro-rated the amount was less.. Now You can have "Easy Pay" where they automatically take out the amount from the bank account. Of course I would NEVER click YES. especially since this was a CUSTOM PAYMENT.

My billing cycle starts the 28th of every month. So why my mom got a charge for my entire April payment is beyond me. Why are they charging her on the fucken 22nd? I didn't click EASY PAY! I called Tuesday right.. had a HORRIBLE DAY.. I got the girl on the phone from T-Mobile saying "I'll take off Easy Pay" I tell her common sense I didn't click Easy Pay

1. If I clicked Easy Pay how could I customize it for an amount less then my bill
2. If I clicked Easy Pay you get 5.00 off your bill.. So why would you charge me for the full amount?

I DIDNT CLICK EASY PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & EVEN IF I DID WHY ARE YOU CHARGING THE CARD ON THE FUCKEN 22ND?

The girl was very nice.. and I asked to speak to her supervisor because she was very help full, I asked the Supervisor to RE-CONFIRM they are refunding my moms card. and she did.

so my mom tells me yesterday, her card is still being charged.

OK so I get to the T-Mobile store today and I give the dude cash, he tells me my account is payed and there is no balance, I calll my mom asked her if they removed the charge she says NO. He's like well we took off Easy Pay

AGAIN WITH THE FUCKEN EASY PAY.. I DIDNT CLICK EASY PAY!!!!!!!!!

So not much he can do. He says "why don't you just give the money to your mom" I'm like ugh NO

1. Say they are in the process of refunding my moms money, and right at this moment I give my mom cash.. then I'm fucked when my service is interrupted?

2. If next month Tmobile decides to charge my mom whenever they feel like it.. There is no recourse that I put in a complaint? like nothings wrong?

I don't think so. So as my phone shuts off my friend says she's at my pad.

Were off to SP! Christanka ay dios this girl! See I am a cool person, most things I won't make an issue out of except if I'm directly disrespected but Christanka ain't go no shame lol.

Soup Plantation is kind of like a buffet. You start at the Salad Bar then you pay, then you sit then you can get whatever you want from different food stations.

Today was crowded so when we payed we had to wait to be seated because there wasn't many available seats, so we were the next to be seated when the line started backing up like a traffic Jam lol. A Party behind us started to walk to find seats when 1 of the dudes noticed we were waited to be seated, Honestly I didn't care if they found seats, it's not a big deal to me honesty, bigger battles in life. Christanka starts maken comments to them i'm like OMG. lol.

We have our little routine.. She gets the Bread, I get the Drinks. She comes back with like 1 half of a piece of bread? I can NOT eat my salad comfy without the bread, It's just what I do..

She says homeboy told her "I'm not making anymore bread till more people ask for it" WHAT THE FUCK? Knowing how she is, I figured I would go check in a little bit. So I go and there is NOTHING so I ask when he will be putting the bread out he sayed "Not Now" okay thats fucken rude. So I went to the head and asked her why they aren't serving the bread? she sayed what? who told you that? I told her what I was told she rolled her eyes and sayed No, we ALWAYS serve bread, I told her how can people ask for what they don't think there is lol.

Now Christina is speaking about her adorable daughter, but she is making the EXACT faces, facial expression oh my god. At times she makes weird faces to impersonate people period and it's NOT flattering, it dawned on me she kind of looks "slow" So I kept on my sun glasses, not being drastic but this shit was embarrassing, if she was "Slow" no problem, the problem was is she isn't and it's seriously causing attention, knowing that I'm getting embarrassed she does it even MORE lol. It was funny but I told her .. "Girl you already got Bad Karma don't add to it."

A couple next to use kept getting up and getting more and more food, for some reason I noticed it and then wanted a couple more pieces of the pizza, so I go and get it, which is weird, Christina started doing the same, as were grubben she made a comment about the couple noticing they keep going back and forth and how if they can we all can lol. Towards the end THE BREAD FINALLY CAME LOL.

as were leaving Christina was going to tell them "I FORFIT YOU WIN" but I stopped her and got her the hell out of there before she intentionaly embarrassed me further lol.

As were walking out a older couple was chillen in the car, 1 was asleep, this broad walks by shaking the keys to wake her up.. You see what I mean.. Bad Karma.. the ride home wasn't any better LOL I texted her husband "I feel bad for you I am so embarrassed" he texts back "You wanted to have dinner with her!" LOL.

Anyway, I get home finally and call Tmobile! The lady sayed that the person I spoke to earlier in the week only "Took off Easy Pay" and not credited the bank back. POR DIOS!!!!!!!!!! I was like I DIDN'T CLICK EASY PAY!!! LOL.

She was really nice, she promised to the high Heavens my moms card wouldn't get charged again. I just ended up giving my mom the cash, and the nice lady put it in the notes. I felt bad I should have asked to speak to her manager and praise her for her help. She was the one who deserved it.

I am so tired.

I am going back to the studio tomorrow to close the deal then start on his sites.

This week has been pretty good, I posted 3 new interviews on Raptalk.net, News and Updates on Blogging&Bitches.com and SickSymphonies.com

I'm VERY excited that Chino XL will be my new client. I'm a HUGE fan, and friend, so You will be seeing alot more of him as his new album drops! =)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Has this ever happened to you? Law of Attraction/Manifestation/etc.

If your familiar with Manifestation.. Law of Attraction... etc then you will know what I'm talking about.

If not, most assume things are "coincidence" .. I use to think that way until I started learning about Spirituality, the connection between our energy's, God, The Universe, Angels etc..

I don't believe in luck anymore, thats a not a negative statement. I believe everything happens for a reason. I truly believe things are pre-destined. Things happen for a reason,

But I get confused because I question it again with.. if things are already pre-destined.. then how can I have the freedom to create and manifest things at my own free will if everything happens for a reason? or do does that very question cancel it self out with a way of explaining it as.. What I'm manifesting isn't really me thinking freely.. because if things are happening for a reason, What if I thought about things that were totally off track to what my purpose or what is planned for me?

let me confuse me and you even more with.. I've read a couple of books now spiritual related, etc and it conveys the message that we are here for a purpose. To learn the lessons we set out with God before we were born.. So with that.. what about the people that never really amounted to anything? I don't think thats what they chose..but then again, it's up to us to learn the lessons in life ... but then I think.. how does that go on the side of things happen for a reason? pre-destined?


I suggest you research your own info on Law of Attraction/Manifestation ..and I don't mean the fluff of "The Secret"


Your thoughts literally do become your reality it's not like oh I think I want a million dollars, and bam it happens, but then again anything is possible..My friend Janice puts everything so eloquently.. For more on this I HIGHLY Recommend reading her blogs Click Here

I think some people are more intuitive then others, although I think we all have intuition, that gut feeling that you KNOW something is clear or not.

Ever thought of someone, something, etc and they call/e-mail/run into/show up, etc?

I have noticed it's been happening alot more than usual.

I'm a little confused however, between Manifestation and actually knowing like intuitive or "calling it" Psychic type senses.
At times things will happen or appear that I've been thinking of.. a couple times I thought I was dead on.. and to me it's like I called it! but then others thought I manifested it... so thats where I'm uncertain.. the fine line that separates both.. either way.. it comes true for me.

I remember thinking of I Love Lucy episodes as a little girl and they would literally come on like the next day or so.. or little things here and there, it's crazy.

at least everyday I notice something I've been thinking actually comes true.

I can blog about so many different examples but I'll blog about today for instance....
I'm sure there is a mixture of me manifesting something, my psychic abilities and visions either I know are coming or I manifest to come true... I think Manifesting is something I'm creating where Psychic abilities is whats already created that I will experience in the very short future

I will just call my examples below as "experiences"

Sometimes I will be thinking of something and it comes true either days later or literally the next couple minutes.

Today I was thinking of one of my friends I haven't seen or heard from her in a minute (months). I was conversing with her cousin in law last week and he even brought her up, I thought about her the other day and I thought about her earlier.. and today out of NO WHERE she adds me on twitter.

I was watching a Novela last night and in a scene one of the actors hid so he wouldn't be seen by a certain person, I thought.. I wonder if I would ever hide from someone I didn't want to see..

I was thinking about a old friend I hadn't seen in a while, I thought about her earlier, and her attempts at trying to hang out and just talk to me.. I thought about how we stopped talking, she was heavy in drugs, even left me somewhere and how now I don't know if I want that kind of drama regardless if she's sober. Sometimes people change and grow apart.

I went to the market a little while ago, I happened to go to one I never really shop at.. they were having a huge blow out sale. As I'm walking in the parking lot a girl from behind looks JUST LIKE my old friend, I thought "how funny I was thinking of her earlier".. I then walk in the store and I literally see my old friend standing right there.

So what did I do? I put my glasses on and Hide. LOL. I looked like crapola and didn't felt like throwing up, I wasn't in the mood to catch up

Earlier in the week I thought about a particular scene in the movie Good Fellas, and right now Good Fellas is on T.V.. I'm semi watching it as I'm writing this.

A couple times this week I will be thinking of a person like say on Myspace or Twitter.. I see their posts, but haven't really conversed with them or spoken to ever.. a couple minutes later usually that person will hit me up "out of the blue"

Or I'll think .. I wonder if so and so know each other? or so and so would get along.. and sooner than later I will see a pic of them together or they start talking..

So shit like that is weird.

I have one of the most accurate memory's.. I can literally tell you exactly what I was doing, wearing, at what time.. etc last year, and most years past. It's at times a blessing and a curse. I have been tested on my memory and I am well above average.

So sometimes If I hear a voice, .. no not in my head lol, but like on T.V or someone.. just a couple words, or a sound of a song, etc.. I will remember exactly who where and when that person is. It's amazing.

Sometimes, I will think the worst and the best happens. So at times I hit and miss. but for the most part everyday is crazy.

I wish I could have dreams where my Angels or people in my past talk to me. I think they don't because even though I totally believe in Angels, Spirits, ghosts etc.. I am horrified of ghosts, etc.. I think thats why I haven't because I always thought I would die from horror if I saw one. I've read and heard Angels, Deceased Family Members, Friend won't come through because they know you will get scared and they don't want to frighten you.

I have people tell me that a dead family member always comes to them in their dreams and talks to them.. I am so envious of that!

Also sometimes certain things will click in my head and stay with me.. I will wonder why that person sayed it or a certain word.. it's like a piece to a puzzle.. for some reason whatever the word or etc.. Something will come up where that piece will fit the proper puzzle. It's crazy.

I have noticed I will see, read or hear like for another example.. I have been hearing and reading lately how being polite and keeping your cool and not getting Angry in a situation helps. Like if your at a store or get in an accident instead of fighting and over reacting.. Getting angry and yelling isn't going to help" -This is exactly what I've heard on T.V these past couple days, read in a book I'm currently reading this week, etc. So it's like is the universe sending me messages that I will be in a situation like this?

crazy right.. so is it Law of Attraction, Manifestation, or my Psychic abilities?

who knows..

now the golden question.. if I could only use my powers for good lol. As in using it to my benefit .. think "outside the box" and really put it to use. I'm talking about moving objects and creating fire balls lol.


Thats my story =)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

CATS OH MY!

I've had many animals, many cats all from shelters! they are the BEST.

I have a thing for Persian cats, they are huge and fluffly, little pushed in faces, they are high maintenance due to their small noses, they can have alot of health problems. They are also very dositle and gorgeous.


This is our 2nd Persian Rafeed. My mom has a thing with naming Persians Persian names lol my other one R.I.P was King Raffi


anywho my little love bug aka Rafeed? I call him Papito..



The Before



and the AFTER

We had him groomed..he feels so much better.. all he wants to do is snuggle .. he HAS to lay half of his body on me.. he snuggles up next to me, positions his 2 front paws on my arm then lays down. It's ADORABLE.


If I'm not paying attention to him he will get up and literally plop in position somewhere else, he likes to lay on my tennis shoes, he uses them as pillows, sooo cute.



I don't know why my cats lay like this but I LOVE IT. It's ADORABLE.




I can go on and on about all the adorable shit my cats do.. sooooooo cute! but I will keep it short.

My 1st Persian .. R.I.P (excuse my messy bed)





My cat Smokey is 14 years old.





I always catch her laying with her paw over her face.. so cute.




anywhoooooo thats my story

Nothing is written in Stone

If I had a centavo for everytime my mom has sayed that.. she has TONS of those similes? I think you call it?

like "Always have your ducks in a row" or I dunno other shit, when I think of some I will add.. anywho..

My mom is one of those people that have awesome people skills, she can bargain almost anything from what the price tag cost is..

Me on the other hand? well I'm not one to haggle, either I can afford the price or not.. however there are CERTAIN things in life I don't take NO or think it's "Written in stone"

GOOGLE is a GREAT example, I'll elaborate on that later including other things and ways nothing is written in stone, but I'm a little tired right now so I will just post my rand and some tidbits and add to this later.

Sometimes my clients will pay me in checks, for some reason 99% They bank with Washington Mutual. Well I don't bank with WaMu.. so there is 1 branch where I live and they are extremely rude.. asken me questions about who I bank with, etc.. given me fucken tude.. Feels like that Pretty Woman clip where she's shoppen at a store in Rodeo minus me and the hooker boots.. I got the fucken cash just cash the shit already.. and of course always rude and THEY SWEAR I CAN NOT CASH THE CHECK THERE BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE AN ACCOUNT. first it was cause I didn't have proper I.D to meet their criteria..

I didn't give up, I went a couple minutes away to another one, AND THEY CASHED IT. NO PROBLEM WHAT SO FUCKEN EVER. Didn't even notice one of my I.D's had expired.. (like my mom says.. The I.D expired, I didn't)

so Today I had a WaMu MONEY ORDER meaning THE MONEY ORDER IS FROM THEIR BANK THAT THEIR CUSTOMER BOUGHT FROM say it with me WA fucken MU

I dreaded walking in there.. so I present the money order, I pull out my I.Ds and the lady tells me

-Do you have an account with us?

me-No

-I'll be right back

couple minutes later..

-We can't cash this if you don't have an account, You can cash it at YOUR bank. OR You can open an account with us for 100.00 blah blah blah..

me- Okay hmm.. So your telling me I can't cash this WASHINGTON MUTUAL MONEY ORDER that was Purchased from your own Washington Mutual customer because? I'm not a customer? it's not a personal check.. it's a Money Order.

-Yes, You need to cash it at your own bank.

me- Really, so there is no way you can help me with this?

-I'm sorry but thats our Policy

me-Anything to get new customers even drive off potentials.


text can't translate her fucken attitude and tone.


So I go back to my faith full WaMu down the street practically..I walk up..the girl looks, says I need to 2 I.D's, of course I pull out the old and the new I.D's, she says

-We can't take these 2 forms of I.D Together, do you have any credit cards with your picture?

me-No, this is all I have

-I am so sorry but we need a credit card or another form of I.D to go along with your licence, I'm really sorry,

me-okay, cool, what about Social Security?

-Yes, Perfect! we take that =)

me-Shit I left it at home, can I come back?

-I'm sorry about that, sure come back and I will cash it for you =)

I go home and come right back, I get another teller, so I first tell her how I had a horrible experience at the other branch and how this one is my favorite because of the great customer service which is 100% TRUE. They are nicer here.

SO I give her my 2 forms of I.D and my SSCard.. she says how sorry she is I had a horrible experience.. I tell her how the lady next to her was immensely helpful, especially since I don't have a WaMu account, I may think about opening one up since I live down the street and everyone is friendly here.......................

She was SO fucken nice.. she sayed it's nice to hear positive feedback instead of always negative and she practically gift wrapped the bills when she was cashing the money order =)

I asked her if I could write a comment card or speak to manager about her and the lady before her who helped me, she was like wow really? .... She put me in the SYSTEM so I shouldn't have any trouble next time =)

SO I DONT NEED AN ACCOUNT AFTER ALL RIGHT?


so my point, If I listened to that idiotic branch who told me no way could I do what I did.. ACTUALLY the couple times I tried that branch first (cause it's literally around the corner) they always told me no ...

but I didn't give up and I was going to cash that pinche Money Order one way or another...............

also I was raised to always give positive feedback to anyone who goes out of their way or just basically friendly and shows a bit of friendliness. I will ask to speak to their manager, supervisor, write a comment card, suggestion box, call or email about how I appreciate the way the worker was to me and why.

PLUS it makes that person feel good to know people actually took the time to appreciate them. Who wouldn't love praise from someone? especially if their boss is an ass and and a customer is raving about them =)

Sometimes if I'm really irritated with a person I will complain. I do know alot of people might have things going on I may not know about so I try to just let it go..

I sayed try lol sometimes people don't like their jobs and they get stupid with you the customer! fuck that. I'm not asking for a kiss ass, I'm just asking for a eye contact and/or no rude ass comments.

Okay now every ones heard "Think outside the Box" which is kinda what I do in my business.. Marketing, Promoting.. what would sell where, how and why.. where does the traffic flow, demographic frequent? likes and dislikes..


My friend Christanka is a huge bargain shopper, she is good at it. You just gotta look for things, discounts, specials, mark offs, etc..

I'm not much of a shopper but I do now 99 cent store IS MY STORE! If you've seen my blogs on the 99 cent store, I aint' fucken around, they are not my client but I am all about letting peeps know about shit.. You can get LITERALLY ALMOST A N Y T H I N G there, pillow cases, thongs, FRESH PRODUCE, Ass Jelly, Condoms and Birth Control all in 1 isle lol, I mean EVERYTHING .. and it's not cheap knock offs or deformed shit, it's real brand name shit.. even Disney takes over an isle...

I actually do alot of my grocery shopping there... where at markets I would spend probably 30.00 no lie.. FUCK THAT.

Now for Google. I am a google queen, I use it all the time, I'm always using it for everything. If I need info on something I will google that bitch till it comes up. Amazing people will aks me if I seen something or lyrics, or whatever and they can't find anything on the net, but I google it and it comes up!

remember YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND THE SAME THING FOR CHEAP. Not everything Brand name, Commercial , National Chains, etc ONLY SELL WHAT YOUR LOOKING FOR.. lots and lots of discount places are popping up especially in this economy.

Go to OPRAH.COM she has AMAZING tips and stories of couples who are pro's at bargain hunting and getting more for less.. etc..

Friday, March 6, 2009

What's been going on is...

nothing and alot.

I haven't blogged in a while. I look back at some of the previous blogs and I cringe because I don't feel like that anymore, I kinda worry what if certain people judge me, but then I feel bad if I delete because 1, I'm not perfect and either is anyone else, and 2 I always say what I feel, so it would kind of be.. in a way.. disrespectful to myself for disregarding what I felt at the time. I don't think I'm explaining it right but I get what I'm saying, lol.

I think it's dope people like the way I write, however, the more people read it the more I want to write but it's a certain person or 2 I feel intimidated and refrain from being so candid, but why let it stop me. I've always sayed and done what I felt, it's not like I'm saying anything bad anyway.

So January came and went. February was a very interesting month. I haven't elaborated on a serious issue that affected me in more ways than one, shit this "Situation" has been a major part of my life -Because I let it- It is involving another person and even though I write about my "family" and private shit about me, I won't blog about my relationship or whatever with this person. It would make a great book, I will tell you that, and the few that know of this Novela .. it was never dull lol. Anyway lets just say I am finally over what I thought I would never be over. So Time does heal all, and things do come back to you, as it did that person. Anyway closure in a way was given and I learned alot about myself.

1 thing I notice is I chose situations that subconsciously mirror past situations. Majority of people do. I can totally get in great detail and example but blah ..

I observed I chose one "addiction" for another. I'm not talking about liquor (can't keep down 3 Smirnoff's), I'm not talking about weed (2 hits and I wanna throw up) and no way am I talking about any drugs, I can't even do a shot of tequila lol. So it's not the usual addictions. Food, of course it's a way I medicate. Alot of my complex, self image and other bullshit from my past that I bring into my life presently have to do with food and thats what it is right now, maybe it's for protection or in defense, could be I'm not really hungry for food at all. I find that I don't wanna open certain e-mails or do certain things, errands so I will emerge myself in something else that will *distract* me. I guess thats the right word, a distraction, this is a damn good word to define what and who I just got over.

My mind is complicated but I don't find myself to be.

It's funny because I stop and look around at things and lessons in life. I wrote a blog previously on Life Lessons, yea I'm 26 not that old but old enough to realize common sense in situations about life.

1 thing is, I discovered on my own, I run from stuff in my life because it's to difficult to me to conquer, or I'm afraid I will succeed.. oh the horror right? NOTHING worse then sabotaging yourself. I have great books that were given me to, but what do I do? I get a Library card and get 4 to 5 books on topics that are already sitting with probably more great detail and insight next to my fucken bed. wtf is that? I love to read, and a Library card is like a fucken golden ticket.

So now I get it, If people are telling me something over and over, and I always find the "If's, and's or buts" It's because I am making excuses, and in the end they are usually right.

I learned that I have always lived my life either black or white. The huge problem is my life has always been Gray. ALWAYS. My life is anything but fucken normal, I have sayed this many times, but I am a blessed motha fucka. I find that with my relationships/friendships with people, either black and white when situations come up but it's never really that cut throat


The more I get to know people, and the more people react to me with so much positivity I discover I really am a good person, I will help anyone on the street, I am compassionate, I have my flaws, trust me I do, but I am not a thief, I am not shady for shit and people trust me like genuinely trust me and that is worth more than any material shit in this world, and even if I dislike someone or hate them, I will still help them because at the end of it all I do want to be friends.


so whats my point? well I have done enough running from my bullshit, my mind is constantly going and I'm afraid of the choices I make, I don't always trust my decisions. How many others feel the same way?

man this year better be a change for me, but I'm the only one that can command at myself and demand myself with "better be" because only I can make shit change.. and prevent forest fires lol jk.........

I don't believe in luck anymore, I believe things happen for a reason, I owe that alot to Janice helping me with books and stuff. I don't know why I seem to loose steam and be it, interest in things. I guess thats what happens when I distract myself with something thinking it will make everything else go away, like a drug or treatment.

I have alot of work to do on myself, but I'm glad I have my mom as a awesome role model. As I sit here writing this, my mother is talking bout her volunteering at the Sherrifs Station, she's part of the Domestic Violence unit. She volunteers her paralegal services for free on the weekends, 2 hours away for people who can't afford help. She makes sure she buys everything organic and not animal tested. Our Toilet Paper, Tooth Brush's, House cleaners, products etc.. everything is always for the environments. I can go on and on but I'll sit here forever talking bout this earth and angel and my eyes will tear up even more because she's that amazing.

When I turned 25 I couldn't even say 25. when I turned 26, shit good luck.. still couldn't say it cause now I am an adult but I'm still spoiled. However, now I look forward to getting older, because there's a reason I'm here everyday. How many people never make it to 26? How many family members and loved ones would only wish their loved one would still be alive, fuck the age.. as long as they are here. So instead of dreading it because I haven't met my personal "goals" or where I "ought" to be.. I'm learning something all the time, and with age comes experience, knowledge and maturity, clarity and prospective.

I have the privilege and opportunity to volunteer anywhere I want everyday. I LOVE helping people, I love it. I'm looking for different organizations, from the homeless, to kids to gay/lesbian activism, animals and of course music. So I dunno.


I went out for the first time since like New Years? a couple weeks ago, had a cool time, seen people I haven't in a long time. I drank to much and threw up at the Dennys in Hollywood, at least it was a pretty blue lol. the shit crept up on me lol. I wore my boots! =) I still have a way to go to wearing my stilettos since my accident but I lasted in the boots for hours! =)

I saw Madea goes to Jail this past weekend, it was aight, funniest fucken line to me was "Nigga can't even make it drizzle, talken bout maken it rain" LMAO! when I go to the movies, I like to sit in the middle.. other wise it hurts my eyes. 11.50 for a fucken movie ticket? I'm like wtf!

so that is whats been go-inz onz mannnnnnnnn